When your car breaks down, you send for the roadside repair service. But who tows away the tow-truck when the tow-truck breaks down? If you are experiencing emotional anxiety, you can consult an expert psychologist. But who gives therapy to the therapist?

Homeopaths believe that the less of a substance you employ, the more powerful it becomes. This idea intensely annoys the scientifically minded. They do not understand the subtle, etheric, esoteric principles upon which such semi-magical preparations are based. But they have a similar problem accepting other unprovable phenomena. They refuse to acknowledge the existence of love - or divine inspiration. There may be little logic in that but If I apply it to what goes on around me there's an awful lot of poetry and power in it.

What do you need if you want to make a dream come true? Energy? Commitment? Luck? Faith? Belief? Probably, we need all of the above - but perhaps not in quite the quantity we might imagine. Sometimes, we have to strive with all our might to get our heart's desire. Sometimes, we only have to lift a finger. But then, if one is feeling unduly pessimistic, like I do now...and most of the time... even the lifting of a finger can seem like an exhausting and pointless task.

I have another question while we are here....well more than one question...no point in haggleing ....Does the course of true love ever run smooth? Are the genuinely great and the good invariably destined to face constant challenge? Must the most talented people on our planet also be the most tortured? Must the most blessed be saddled with the heaviest burdens? I only ask because... Well, I suspect this is all a plot... although there's something in this situation now, which is extremely bitter sweet. But then, what else could it be? Would I really ever have things any other way?

Don't you sometimes get the feeling that wanting something can be more fun than actually having it? and when that unattainable item is lodged in your imagination, twinkling away like a breathtaking jewel, you think about what it would be like if you had it, how it would feel, how it would change your life? You dream about it, and the next day you embroider the fantasies a little more and have the same pleasures of longing all over again. But if you actually bought it, you would take it home, put it on a shelf and that would be that...umm I wonder if my current saga is just as simple as that!

No point in pretending that things are ideal - or almost ideal. A little tweak, here or there, in some slightly-flawed situation, is not going to sort me out. There's something more basic and fundamental amiss. That's the bad news.

I really feel I am facing a race against time...There are certain ways in which I maybe able to reduce the pressure I feel now - and I should employ them all!... Maybe self-imposed deadlines can and should be reviewed. I have enough on my plate just dealing with the tasks which are universally accepted as urgent…focusing on your MBA...getting on the right track with career...clearing your issues with your bank manager (we seem to need to resolve some issues and maybe our differences...just because I have no money in my bank account doesn’t mean he has to go ahead and put an stop on my credit card now is it!! :P )

I need to be superhuman to achieve a flawless result in a situation like the one I now face. So as you can see there doesn't seem to be any good news to give…

The good news could be that, I know...once I concede as much and become willing to instigate the appropriate major alterations, I will soon see what needs to be done. It may well involve hard work and compromise, but, at least, I will be truly constructive. And the progress that I make will benefit me for the rest of my days!....Discovery of the life time as u can see....

But that leads me to my usual...blah blah blah....

Some one read my fortune today...with one of those strange card game things...it all started really good ...you know...like 'Your heart is stuck somewhere... (Delet pishe yeki gir kardeh!) ' ... and oh... 'look two hearts are really close together' ... and apparently there is something very crucial when there is an Ace of Clubs and an Ace of Hearts lined up...'But'...damn there is always a 'but'...'There is also a black jack guarding the heart'...woohoo...tell me something I don't know...according to my so called fortune teller...this is a very difficult task and would never come about and I better forget about it...duh!

Isn't hindsight wonderful? It lets us see all sorts of things that we shouldn't have done, but did do. And do we ever learn from it? No, not really; we just go on and make the same mistakes all over again in the hope that it might turn out better next time. The key word there is 'hope'. That is what makes us human, and it is what drives us to do things which are supposedly outside our capabilities and experience, but which somehow surprise us by turning out well. I suppose what I am trying to get to is that...maybe I shouldn't let the recent setbacks stop me from hoping...because after all 'hope' is all I have got!

Can we really hold the feelings we don't want to end?

I am not making any plans anymore...plans are overrated...they change!

Could it be possible that some of us have magical powers? Might we have been blessed, at birth, with gifts so rare and special as to baffle the world of conventional science?
Well I think I would have noticed by now?
Perhaps not. Faced with some inexplicable phenomenon, most people either ignore it completely or put it down to coincidence. We may well be exceptionally psychic without realising it. We may even be able to 'cause things to happen' with the sheer force of our will. Or maybe it is just my imagination....

I got this on my Yahoo offline message box today...
"If you love someone, put their name in a circle, not a heart because a heart can be broken...but a circle goes on forever", ... I thought it was meanigful ... the message also said "Send this to everyone on your list, and in 15min your true love will send you a message"....ha....only if everything was that simple I thought to myself!

We all have our plans for world domination. Our secret dreams of power and influence. We contemplate the things that we would do, if only we had enough money or opportunity and time. Normally, these grand visions involve a great deal of activity. Energy must be expended. Effort must be made. Yet sometimes, we feel we can achieve far more by sitting still, than we can running a hundred miles. Perhaps we can learn much more from listening than we can from talking, and maybe we can achieve far more from doing the right kind of nothing, than we can through doing the wrong kind of something!!

I was looking at some old messages...and 'Gooya Bahar Amad' ( Sounds like spring is here!) from Leili cut my eye...it is dated 9th of June...I closed my eyes and tried to remember the feeling of those few weeks...It sure did seem like spring...warm and beautiful but also breezy...I guess my life skipped the rest of the spring and summer...cuz this surely feels like Autumn...!

Once again...no words were spoken...no goodbyes were said...could it be, that is because it is not goodbye and is marely just 'see you later'...ha...too optimistic...a silence goodbye I would have thought so!

Think how much energy that coyote wasted. Year after year, he chased Roadrunner up and down the mountain. He set traps, moved signposts, dug holes, wore disguises and employed expensive explosive. Yet no matter what he did, that Roadrunner kept on running. Beep! Beep! I suppose I have to make sure I don't end up like Wile E Coyote. No matter how agitated or aggravated I feel, I need to keep a clear head, especially this week...Exams and all that...after all I can't jeopardise what I have worked so far for...

May be it is true what they say that some things just can't happen in a hurry, and attempts to speed them up, will have a neutral effect at best - and at worst, will actually slow them down. Perhaps I should learn to be patient and alert...yadi yadi yadi...

1 + 1 = Everything !

When I was younger ( well...when I was just a kid!) , I had a favourite theme park ride. The one that I could get to sit in a little car and drive it along a track. It had a steering wheel to turn and a horn to honk. I felt very much as if I was in control of the vehicle. Only I wasn't. The whole thing was being pulled by a hidden engine. It didn't matter how hard I tried to accelerate, turn or brake. I didn't get it then, of course. I was happy in my belief. For me then, ignorance was bliss. None of us minds expending a little, additional enthusiasm, when prospects are bright, but none of us likes to waste energy on unnecessary worry. I guess not much is changed since then...I am still going round and round the track with no control over what is happening...the difference is I can't be happy about it anymore!

Some people say that to be happy is to live in a dream. Not so. It is to let the dream live within you! It is to wander wide-eyed through the world knowing that nature will nurture your creativity. It is to be forever in the right place at the right time, even when you could take one look at your situation and conclude that it is very wrong.Do you ever get the feeling that you know for sure that even wrong things can be right sometimes? And the way to make them right is to stop worrying about what's wrong with them? But you still ask yourself what do you have to do to make this day a happy, successful and productive one?

Eshgh kafi nist!

Two and two don't inevitably make four. No matter what the mathematical purists say, if you have two children and two bars of chocolate, putting them together will result in two very pleased kids. Or, possibly, if those bars are big enough, two infants with tummy ache. Sometimes, we adults are a little too hasty to look at things in terms of numbers without stopping to consider what those numbers really represent. Logic, dictates that a certain process ought to give a certain result. Dictators of any kind however, often invite rebellion. So perhaps we should go with our instinct, not our intellect!!!!????

Why do people go to such lengths to make life difficult for themselves? Could it be that secretly none of us likes life to be too easy? Challenge excites us. Drama gives us energy. When things are OK, we don't have anywhere near so much to think about. And thus we become more easily bored. When we are bored, we become agitated and irritated or we start to make very dubious decisions based on carelessness or complacency. Then, unsurprisingly, things go wrong and we have a new difficulty to wrestle with....Ummm ....must pardon me...Having seen the person I am trying to avoid three days in a row with no choice has kind of given me the inclination that perhaps we play a big part in creating difficulties....the point is we are not looking to do so...it just so happens...I shall stop letting my mind wonder off...but it is as though I am approaching the most comfortable point of this cycle...I feel much more relaxed...may be I should just enjoy it while it lasts.

Koja boodim...Koja part shodim!!!