Desires are expensive things to have. If we can only manage to persuade ourselves that we want nothing, we can save ourselves a great deal of money, time and "emotional investment."All business people know that it is much easier to drive a hard bargain when you feel dispassionate – and conversely, that you can soon be taken advantage of if you deeply yearn to take possession of something... or someone. That is going a bit too far I guess, the problem is we can't really own people...or can we? We can't change them to our likings… can we? It is like the cars and elephant metaphor; Cars, like elephants, have two distinctly different ends. Go round the front and they seem very appealing. Go round the back and you had better be wearing a clothes peg over your nose. Hey, that's life. Two sides to every coin. If you are hoping to persuade elephants to stop doing what it is that elephants do several times a day, you are not going to get far. Nor are you likely to find a combustion engine without an exhaust. So does that mean that no matter how possessive we may be, it is not easy to change things the way we want them to be? Especially if the so called "things" in question are the people closed to us? I guess we do occasionally get the option to position ourselves where we can enjoy the advantages of a certain situation without having to look so closely at what's wrong with it. But hey that is tough too!!!