Perhaps I should make this week the last instalment in a silly saga. There is something that I need to clear up, sort out and move on from. I can't alter certain crucial factors but I can at least decide that I am not going to let them bother me as much in the future. I have been taking something or shall I say someone far too seriously. In allowing myself to feel so concerned, I have been placing a subtle but steady drain on my own power and strength. Now it's time to care a little less and accomplish a whole lot more. I can't, of course, become callous or careless - but I can (and must) perhaps make my key choices a little more dispassionately, while holding on to a broader sense of perspective... (So did Lili insist!)

People who honestly speak their minds are often regarded with suspicion. We live in a polite society. We are encouraged, from an early age, to hide whatever we truly feel and to say what is expected of us. Such behaviour may sometimes go against the grain. There are times when even the meekest and the mildest among us prefer to be upfront and direct, regardless of the social consequences...But are they really? Being upfront I mean? Or in some cases like my experience today, they are trying hard to look like they are being upfront to rectify a situation or doing it out of concern for you?... Tonight I realised though I am particularly disinclined to live out a lie - or to support a suspect supposition, but I have no choice...I was, of course, wonderfully diplomatic and delicate. But I still ended up annoying someone...and that someone wasn't anyone but me…because I sat there and listened to the things that were being said…no matter how contradictory they were to what was said before…and no matter how they conflicted with what the eyes said… Perhaps it doesn't much matter. It's important for the right things to be said and done. If they truly are right, they will end up having the right results...Perhpas sometimes it is easier to switch off and stop listening and just take in what the eyes say deep within, and that will be enough for you...just to know!


The past month was far too strange, everything started to happen at once. Maybe that was not especially unusual. Sometimes it seems as if life is divided into times of feast or famine with not much by way of middle ground. I am beginning to get use to this sudden change schemes, creating a vast amount for me to deal with, focus on, learn and adapt to. It seems as if I have far too much to do in a short space of time. Shall I assume that unexpected developments are convenient coincidences, not aggravating impositions? Shall I aim for quality not quantity and, if something can wait... let it!? Isn't it true that I can't eat every meal on the menu and I can't buy every product in the shop? Nor can I take up every offer that comes my way. You see, the real restriction isn't financial. It is to do with the fact that there's a limit to the number of things I can give my heart and soul to. Rich and poor alike have to whittle down their options sometimes. Variety may be the spice of life but spice needs rice or it isn't nice. Or, to put it another way, some basic and fundamental things need dealing with.


Driving home last night I was thinking, why does everything in this world seem to cost so much? Why does it always seem as though, even if the price is not high financially, it is high in some other way? Why must we always give so much effort, energy, time or emotional commitment in order to get anywhere or to attain anything? Why does it seem that we are being asked to spare more than we can supply? I don't want to let anyone down, nor do I want to deprive myself of something. Nonetheless, reality must be faced. Or mustn't it? Maybe I should keep on trying to come up with the perfect way to fulfil all of my current conflicting needs. I may yet manage to square the circle after all. Watching the sunrise I thought that I shouldn't need to worry about all the 'opportunities' that I may be missing or the 'responsibilities' that I may be failing to carry out fully...or giving away the things or the people I may care most for... For once the right key choices have been made in my life, whatever else I need will come….the fact that I had nothing to do with making the choices is of course irrelevant! Or isn't it?