True friends allow us to grow. And they are the people we allow to grow and change. Most of the time, in authentic friendship there is neither room for judgment, nor the need for it. The beauty of this equation is that we can experience being self-assertive without fear of offending anyone. The world is big enough for everyone, and those who are committed to staying the same all the time contribute too little other than boredom.... But is it quite appropriate for us to be a different person every day if that's how we feel?

When people are resolutely who they are, that helps us be resolutely who we are. Of course, if we want to send people off cowering, we must be brave and direct. Yet how we respond in the face of someone's boldness and clarity is our choice, and this may even give us real opportunity to dance the tango rather than do the pussyfoot. Perhaps, deliberation and hesitation are not a flaw, as we so often remind the rest of us. Nobody is really all that certain of themselves. Life is a process, with the right attitude....