Wednesday, December 31, 2003

So, where next? This is a rhetorical question. I neither expect an answer, nor do I intend to supply one...not that I can of course....If I don't already know where I am supposed to be goin.... will it ever become clear ? Maybe If I'd already known... then life wouldn't be the way it is today...perhas it's not a question of whether, it's a matter of when. 'Why' does not come into it. The only thing I really need to know is 'how'. Or maybe I already know....as you can see somewhere in the back of my mind, an alarm bell is ringing. I am used to living a life of challenge and drama, struggle and stress, adventure and surprise. When things get too comfortable, I begin to feel suspicious. Where's the catch? What's going to go suddenly wrong at any moment? What trick am I missing? ...ok ok..may be I should turn the bell off.... Even if it is right to alert me to the temporal nature of all things in this world?...are you saying where is the spirit of trust?....well....Have you ever been to the beach and misjudged the tide? One moment you are snoozing comfortably in your deckchair, the next you're racing round trying to save your book and radio from being washed away. It's simply not possible to rescue all your possessions. You have to grab the most important and let the others get wet...See that's the way things may turn out... and as the tide of 2004 comes sweeping in I am not sure what to feel....!!! Ok...I will turn the bell off...Ok I will be more optimistic...and ok...I will watch out for the 2003 not to hit me on the way out!!!

Happy New Year!
Why does sunshine come after rain? Why does daylight follow darkness? Perhaps because, presumably, the universe deems it necessary to give us a constant reminder of its changeable nature. First things are one way, then they are another. That's life. So why shouldn't things be picking up for us now?...ok for me... Heaven knows they've been tough enough for long enough.I'd feel happier if I could see why .... Of course...We all love explanations and of course... we don't always get them.....!!!