Saturday, May 24, 2003

So here you are, at the top of a diving board. Way down below you can see what you hope, is a large pool of water... Are you ready to jump? Well, if not, what are you doing up here?
I guess when you are put on the pedestal like that you suddently realise that you have picked a fine time to decide you don’t much fancy the adventure. Is it possible to shuffle back to the steps and make your way back down? Probably – but do I now really need to make such an undignified retreat?

Perhaps my doubts and misgivings are only natural....umm too many questions....too many choices....no right answer!!!!
LET ME EAT MY CAKE!!!!
Open the packet and just add water... Follow the easy instructions...Snap your fingers and hey presto!
Oh, if only it were all so simple. Sadly, even in this high-tech push-button age, some things have to take their time. Emotional processes absolutely cannot be hurried. We cannot simply force ourselves to change the way we feel. Gradually though, we can re-train our hearts and minds. I have been working for some while now on a different way to respond to some powerful triggers. I have had my tests of that new strength.Also been told by many; " Fear not, you will pass with flying colours"...but hey...I guess things in my case are just flying...transparently!!

Thursday, May 22, 2003

Library shelves creak and groan under the weight of learned tomes. They contain more books than you and I could ever plough through – even if we were to make it our life’s work AND enrol on a speed-reading course. Ought we to feel uncomfortable about the amount of information we are never likely to digest?

Might there be something missing from our lives? Well, that rather depends on whether you believe that the universe is essentially complicated – or basically simple.

Right now, I can safely assume the latter. What I don't know, won't hurt me and I don't need to know. So I will just relax.
"Watch please as I swing this crystal pendulum back and forth. Fix your gaze on the stone and follow it. Back and forth. Back and forth. You are feeling sleepy. Very sleepy. When I count to three, you will descend into a deep trance. One, two, three. OK. Now tell me honestly please, what are you really trying to achieve in your current situation? Thank you. That makes a lot more sense. When I count to three again, you will wake up and remember nothing. One, two, three. Ha! "

....That might come familiar to those of us who go to fortune tellers...or I don't know those hypnothisers...( is that what they are called!)....Anyway..not matter what they tell us, after a while, we get used to things the way they are. It doesn’t much matter whether they are good or bad, pleasing or disappointing, comfortable or awkward. We just become familiar with the world we know and we start to feel a little strange about change. But of course, nothing stays the same forever. Oddly, ironically, we encounter developments that once we couldn’t wait for. Yet we are not quite sure how we feel about these. I guess the key is to hold on for a bit ...step back and look at the direction with one more glance....


We all like to think of ourselves as invincible, infallible and immortal. Perhaps, in a way, we truly are all of these things. Invincible because, though others can sometimes hurt us, they can never destroy us. Infallible, because even when we appear to have made a mistake, we may have been doing the perfect thing for reasons that have yet to become clear. Immortal because, although our bodies do not live forever, our souls are made of energy. And energy has no beginning or end. Not convinced? Well, tough.....

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

The devil, they say, is in the detail!!! aha... I'm not so sure myself. It's a very strange place for the Prince of Darkness to reside. Why hide there when you can walk abroad and wreak havoc in the world of general principles? You can spread plenty of paint with a broad brush and you can spread plenty of mischief with a broad-based assumption.

Can one really stir up quite as much trouble with some fiddly-widdly, petty, predicative factor?

I don't think it is the detail we need to look at...It is the big idea. Need to ask just one question, who does it benefit most?

Monday, May 19, 2003

You can walk down the same street a thousand times and think you know all it contains. Then you can make that journey once more and find it full of surprises!! This may either be because something different has happened on the road... or in your head!!Often, our attitudes and expectations trap us in a dull world where little ever alters. Most of us only ever see what we want to see so it doesn't really matter how much there is to wonder at?...We will happily ignore it if it doesn't fit in with our big idea about what's going on. Until, that is, we get a surprise that hit us so bad that as they say 'we don't know..what hit us!' ...like today... with fresh eyes, I am starting to recognise fresh possibilities.
I try hard to be sensible. I follow rules religiously. I think of the most great people I have ever met/read about/known somehow and try to emulate their example. Ultimately though, it is all in vain. The problem, you see, is that we are living in a crazy world. It’s a madhouse and the most dangerously certifiable inhabitants are the ones who purport to be sane. I am not quite sure whether to laugh or cry about a certain factor. Laugh!...perhaps then I’ll see why it's not a problem after all. Cry!...perhaps then I'll feel better about lifes surprises...lies and deceits....

Whatever I do...I will always have a problem trusting others...and I will always be asking myself Why?...because no one else would have a reasonable explanation.....do you?
Some people think that the way to win an argument is to shout as loudly as possible. Others know that the true trick is to say as little as possible. If someone is wrong then sooner or later they will trip themselves up regardless of how much or how little they are challenged. Ok...I guess I could do that...The only trouble with this gloriously effective technique is that it requires the self-discipline of a saint! Which I don't think I am... In remaining silent one risks being unfairly accused of complicity. I guess it is important not to let the passion get the better of me. I suppose if I remain quiet and polite I will yet be presented with a perfect chance to prove an important point....ummmm would I though? or can I actually be quiet...??? ( stop shacking ur head u lot!!!)

Anyway isn't it true what folks say about 'Winning is for losers'? Of course their rational is that the people who are truly cool are not interested in petty point-scoring. They understand that "to get one over" on an opponent is to short-change yourself. It is to make an unfortunate trade - to swap a temporary state of euphoria for a permanent sense of sanguinity.

All who live on Funfair Earth should remember that the swings and the roundabouts never stop. For as long as you ride them, you will be up one moment and down the next.

I guess I shouldn't see my current difficulty as a challenge to rise to but as a chance to develop a deeper understanding!