We all want to stay cool, calm and in control. We fancy ourselves as the strong, silent type. We want to be able to take everything in our stride. Yet happily, this is one fancy none of us can fulfil for any length of time. We have emotions. Wild, powerful, passionate urges and impulses that race through our hearts and minds. They cause endless trouble, but at least they prove that we are real human beings – not robots or Vulcans. For some strange reason, I now feel inclined to apologise for the way I feel. Perhaps I shoudn't!! I am fully entitled to the experience – and perhaps I should trust it. It is giving me a headache...you know, sometimes, when you wake up from a particularly intense dream, there's a sense of sadness. Likewise, when a good movie ends or an enjoyable book hits the final chapter. We don't want to return to reality. We are keen to prolong the fantasy. Lots of people strive to lead their whole lives in a state of delusion. They will go to almost any lengths to keep up a pretence. This is all fine during times of disappointment and deprivation. We may as well create an alternate world for ourselves if the real one is sadly lacking. But I have been dreaming for too long and right now, I seem to have an amazing, real-life opportunity. Maybe I am getting my wake-up call!? There is this voice in my head that tells me " Don't resent it – just leap up gratefully and seize what's on offer."....But the catch is...I have trouble seeing what is happening!!!