Who said the past is in the past??? No it is not...it is bloody right here with every move we make .... ok ok...it is right here with every move I make....slapping me right in the face!!! You can't judge a book by looking at the cover... and you can't judge a year by its first few days. That's what they say. They may well be right, But sometimes, you can get a distinct flavour of what's in store....Crap!!!

Right now I feel rather like a person who has been staring at a landscape through a small window... I feel I have seen all there is to see... I yearn for a change but I fear that it is going to be difficult to instigate... ( or because perhaps people keep reminding me of things I don't want to be reminded of!) .... Experience teaches us that we don't have to seek change. It will always find its way to us... Perhaps stability is the experience we have to strive for and the moment we relinquish our desire to lead a predictable life, chaos seems to come flooding in like a lake through a crack in the wall of a dam...( well it always finds its way to get to me anyway!!)...Nonetheless, I am ready to do whatever is needed...I am about to prove that, actually, all it takes is a simple decision to step outside the door... Without that window in my way, surely I will find much more to appreciate on the horizon of the surrounding landscape....

When Achilles, the great warrior of Greek mythology, was just a tiny baby, his mother dipped him in the river Styx. This caused every part of him to become invulnerable, with the exception of the heel by which she held him. We all have our weak spots and they all ironically, tend to get weaker, the more we try to acquire greater strength. Somewhere in me is an area of deep emotional sensitivity.... maybe an unhealthy dependency....Perhaps this is the good year to throw away that so called sensitive dependancy and stand on my two feet...and held my head high!